Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

—J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone


Delilah Jane Houston, known locally as radio personality DJ Houston of Houston, We Have Some Problems, the ten o’clock radio show commonly referred to around campus as “wait, we have a radio station?”, was experiencing a moral dilemma.